Tommy’s Balls: An Update

Golden Boy Tommy Brady’s Agent Don Yee came out the day after the Warren Report, err I mean the Wells Report (for those of you too young to remember the Warren Report it was the government’s response to information gathered after the assassination of JFK -there’s your history lesson for the day- you’re welcome)!

What might Mr Yee have said you may ask?  Well it’s something pro-Golden Boy of course, why we all know that, but who knew that the NFL was out to conduct a “sting” on Tommy!  A true NFL sanctioned sting on one of the NFL’s glorified stars?  Seriously Mr. Yee, you must be taking the piss!

“One item alone taints this entire report. What does it say about the league office’s protocols and ethics when it allows one team to tip it off to an issue prior to a championship game, and no league officials or game officials notified the Patriots of the same issue prior to the game? This suggests it may be more probable than not that the league cooperated with the Colts in perpetrating a sting operation.”

Oh Mr. Yee, you really think if the NFL told the Patriots that your great Tommy wouldn’t have secretly have texted his buddies McNally and Jastemski and told them the deal was off?

“Hey guys, don’t deflate my balls!  LOL!”  Oh I know, it’s just a joke right?  Like the Patriots lawyers tried to say.  They all were just joking.  Because every NFL team locker room attendant jokes about deflating balls I’m sure.  Just like every NHL locker room attendant talks about cutting holes in the net I’m sure.

“Hey guys wouldn’t it be funny if we cut the nets?  LOL!”

Mr. Yee called EVERYONE out on this:

“It is a sad day for the league as it has abdicated the resolution of football-specific issues to people who don’t understand the context or culture of the sport.”

Now he’s trying to put in that big word, ABDICATED, to try to make himself sound special there but he’s trying to say that Ted Wells and co. don’t understand football or football culture and are not able to make a practical judgement on the case because of this.  Sorry not sorry.  That one doesn’t fly with me.  There’s this thing called practical judgement, and in my practical judgement, he’s just bullshitting.  He tried to prove such by saying that “investigators had limited understanding of professional football.”

What they only had vast understanding of college football?  So that doesn’t relate?  Or they had limited understanding of the Patriots locker room?  Are we supposed to have the Patriots investigated by the Patriots’ lawyers?  Would Bobby Kraft prefer to have his lawyers investigate?  Maybe we could have one giant Patriot investigation and just bury it underneath Gillette Stadium.  Why should Tommy be untouchable?

And speaking of untouchable…Bobby Kraft still hasn’t gotten it.

“When I addressed the media at the Super Bowl on January 26 – over 14 weeks ago – I stated that I unconditionally believed that the New England Patriots had done nothing inappropriate in this process or in violation of the NFL rules and that I was disappointed in the way the league handled the initial investigation. That sentiment has not changed.

“I was convinced that Ted Wells’ investigation would find the same factual evidence supported by both scientific formula and independent research as we did and would ultimately exonerate the Patriots. Based on the explanations I have heard and the studies that have been done, I don’t know how the science of atmospheric conditions can be refuted or how conclusions to the contrary can be drawn without some definitive evidence.

“What is not highlighted in the text of the report is that three of the Colts’ four footballs measured by at least one official were under the required psi level. As far as we are aware, there is no comparable data available from any other game because, in the history of the NFL, psi levels of footballs have never been measured at halftime, in any climate. If they had been, based on what we now know, it is safe to assume that every cold-weather game was played with under inflated footballs. As compelling a case as the Wells Report may try to make, I am going to rely on the factual evidence of numerous scientists and engineers rather than inferences from circumstantial evidence.”

The interesting thing is that the Wells Report does bring out science.  In fact I’m not even going to get into the science, let’s just talk about those game balls he talks about in the Wells Report:

Colts Ball

Recorded PSI Recorded PSI

1 12.90 12.50

2 12.45 12.10

3 12.80 12.45

4 12.70 12.35

Ok so the limit is 12.5 to 13.5, but keep in mind one thing, the home team is in charge of BOTH teams balls. There’s what four instances of the balls being below the limit.  I would say the most is what, .15 PSI under and take a look at the measurements of the Colts balls at half.

1 12.70 12.35

2 12.75 12.30

3 12.50 12.95

4 12.55 12.15

Oh and you know what?  The officials who measured these?  They did NOT inflate them because they were within the limit.  However the DID inflate the Patriots balls Bobby, you know why?  Because they did believe that your guys had deflated the balls.  I guess maybe the cold weather inflated one set of balls.  That’s science for you.

I do believe that football D’Qwell Jackson intercepted that “cold weather” affected was below the limit, what was it, um…11?  No let’s go there Bobby…

Patriots Ball Blakeman Prioleau

1                      11.50 11.80

2                      10.85 11.20

3                      11.15 11.50

4                      10.70 11.00

5                      11.10 11.45

6                      11.60 11.95

7                      11.85 12.30

8                      11.10 11.55

9                      10.95 11.35

10                    10.50 10.90

11                    10.90 11.35

Yup there it is.  So if you inflate the ball to 12.5 or 12.6 as some have suggested in the WR so you don’t get in trouble, in one half they are going to drop almost 2 psi in some instances and almost .5 psi others?  That science it’s so tricky.  I realize Bobby, Donny and Tommy are all trying to save face, but come on, what is the NFL gonna do?  Take away your shiny silver trophy?  Call you cheaters?  Boo hoo.  Is Roger Goodell not going to come to your next shindig?  Please.  Save the tears for your retirement ceremony I don’t wanna hear it.  People have been put in jail for less evidence.  The only people who buy the not guilty evidence are the ones who pack your stadium on Sunday Bobby.  Give it a rest, suck it up call it what it is, your QB and company conspired to deflate balls and got caught whether you like it or not.  Now they’ll pay the price, or so I hope.