I Don’t Play Ice Hockey I Make Ice Angels

Playing with someone who is in the top ten in scoring in Junior Tier 3 hockey and having him deke you out of your skates proves you have plenty of work to do. Especially when that means he takes the puck to the net and scores right away, I end up on my stomach making an ice angel.  

How much work to do?  Even trying to hammer home a loose puck on net as it slowly rolls toward you seems like such an easy thing. Here it comes as do the defense. Spinning puck. Spinning and slowing down. So I have to put everything into it. Bad idea. Yeah it goes two feet right to the defense. Everyone is already past me before I realize it. Another embarrassment. Shift over for me.

Oh right, then there’s my head going around in circles as I try to clear it. Yeah that’s a joke. Please don’t pass it my way. Noooooo!!! Yup I just missed it even though my stick was right there. I’ll just skate to my man. And there he goes…I’ll poke check that’s it! Too late. But wait there goes the puck. I’ll go get it. Right past me into the corner. I’m just laughing at myself now. How can I not? Head to the bench. That’s an embarrassment of a shift. My play gave up a goal.

Another shift and I’m trying to clear the puck from in front of the goal. I clear it right to the other team. Here we go again. Another goal.  

Next shift I go to pass the puck and I end up on my right shoulder. All my weight on my right shoulder. Good thing I write my that shoulder. Of course I try to get up and it takes a little bit longer than usual. I hear a goal being scored. Same old story. Crawl back to the bench and hide. So terrible.  

Then the andrenaline wears off and the pain sets in. I started skipping shifts to avoid embarrassment and the pain. I couldn’t lift my arm above my shoulder. Good thing I was wearing shoulder pads but damn, all my weight on that arm. How the hell did I do that? I don’t even remember how I cranked myself around like that.

Obviously I’m not up to the level but cut me a break. I haven’t been playing since I was 4 like one of the guys nor for 5 years like one of the other players. But some people won’t cut you a break even though you try. It’s a hard game to learn. It’s tough when you are already behind the eight ball. I try really hard to be an ice hockey player and give everything I have but I’m still sinking and not swimming.

Some aren’t giving me the benefit of the doubt and that’s ok. I’m laughing at me as best I can. I know I make ice angels but hey, I’m not the only one and if nothing else I am giving it all I got. One day If I work hard enough I’ll call myself a hockey player but we’ll see. The only person I have to convince is me.

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